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I wrote a newspaper column a couple of weeks ago about how I'm learning to cook. I got a flood of mail from women who, like my wife Annie, want to retire from cooking and get their husbands to take over in the kitchen. They wondered whether I might have any advice to offer. Well, of course I do.

If you'll follow these directions to the letter, pretty soon your hubby will be cooking while you sit at the table reading the newspaper, thinking great thoughts, tapping your foot, waiting for him to bring you a glass of wine. So, let's not screw this up. Okay?

Here's your Achilles' heel: you know how to cook and therefore have wisdom to share.

Here's my suggestion: keep it to yourself.

This is your man's new job. It needs to be challenging. So let him cook on his own, even if he has to learn a lot of lessons the hard way. You wouldn't think of going out on the golf course to whack his ball for him. So don't go into the kitchen to help him. Hands off.

This may be as hard as anything you've ever done. After all, you're going to see him doing things the wrong way. He's going to mess up some-maybe a lot. Some of his dinners will be debacles. It's okay. Debacles are memorable.

For several months after his infamous Chicken Divine dinner party, folks will remember how the chicken squawked when they cut into it. And how Harry-God rest his soul-never got over the salmonella poisoning.

That's okay. Even desirable. It'll be a good story and goodness knows we can all use more good stories.

I know your man sometimes tells you how you should be doing things. But let's resist the urge to get even. His new job is going to make your life easier. That's the goal, so when the urge to get even strikes, take a deep breath. And walk away.

There is one exception to the general rule: when he asks for your help or advice, give it-but only what he asks for and nothing more. Do not take his request as an opportunity to straighten him out on the 16 other things you're carrying around in your head and burning to talk about. Take a deep breath. And walk away.

Oh, and whatever you say, say it just once. Your good advice will not improve with repetition.

Last but not least, tell him you like his cooking whether you do or not. Let somebody else deliver the bad news.

If you can follow these basic rules, the old guy will soon be cooking you something good. You'll be lounging at the dinner table, drinking your glass of good Walla Walla wine, and enjoying some scintillating conversation with your man while he plates your dinner. And you'll be glad you held your tongue.